Skip to content
British Christmas is now available!
British Christmas is now available!
Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney - 340g imported British grocery product available in Canada

Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney - 340g

Christmas pre-order
$21.99 - $21.99
$21.99
$21.99 - $21.99
$21.99
Availability:
Christmas pre-orderExpected to ship late October to early November

Coming home for Christmas

This one is sailing over from the UK right now, packed in with a whole container of British Christmas treats.

Order now and we'll set one aside with your name on it. The moment the container is unloaded in Halifax, we start packing, and the earliest orders go out first.

Got other goodies in your cart? We'll keep the lot together and send it in one parcel, so it all lands on your doorstep at once.

Then watch your inbox: we'll email you the moment it's on its way. That's when Christmas properly starts.
 
GBS Rewards: Earn 3.5% backon every purchase Learn more about GBS RewardsLearn more
Secure Checkout Safe & trusted payments
Shipped from Canada Fast & reliable delivery
Authentic British Foods Imported from the UK
Rated 4.9/5 From 452 reviews
About Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney

About Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney

The farm off the telly made a chutney, and naturally it has beer in the name. Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney is the jar people pick up at the farm shop and then claim they bought for someone else.

It belongs beside a slab of Cheddar and a pork pie, on a board that was meant to be a snack and somehow turned into dinner.

If you have watched Clarkson's Farm from a sofa in Canada and wondered what the shop actually sells, start here.

It is the UK jar, and it ships from within Canada.

Shop more Diddly Squat in Canada or browse the full range of British pantry favourites at The Great British Shop.

Frequently asked questions about Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney

Q: How big is the jar?

A: It is a 340g jar. That is a fair few cheese sandwiches, depending on how heavy your hand is with the spoon.

Q: What do people eat it with?

A: Cheese, mostly, and Cheddar first of all. It is also very good with cold ham, pork pies and sausage rolls, and it turns an ordinary toastie into something you will want again tomorrow.

Q: Does it make a good gift?

A: It does, especially for anyone who has watched Clarkson's Farm and quietly wanted something from that shop. Add a block of Cheddar and you have a present they will actually use.

More about Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney

Chutney is the quiet backbone of British lunch. The ploughman's, the cheese board, the cold ham sandwich at the pub: none of them is finished until there is a dark, sharp spoonful on the side. A real ale chutney is that tradition with its sleeves rolled up.

Some people in Canada come looking for it because they have watched every episode and want a bit of the farm in their own kitchen. Others have never seen the show and simply miss a proper pub chutney with their cheese. Both lots end up scraping the jar.

It comes in a 340g jar, enough for a good few lunches if you are disciplined and about three if you are not. Keep it in the cupboard until it is opened, then follow what the lid tells you. Try it in a cheese toastie, next to a sausage roll or stirred into a ham sandwich.

It does its best work with a strong Cheddar, a crumbly Stilton, a pork pie or a packet of oatcakes. A pint alongside is traditional, and nobody is going to argue.

Additional Information

Packaging Accuracy. We keep product information as accurate and up to date as possible. Manufacturers sometimes change packaging, ingredients, nutritional information, allergen advice, pack sizes or branding without notice, so the product you receive may look slightly different from the images shown. If you have a question about ingredients or allergens before ordering, please get in touch and we will gladly check for you.

Customers also add

Based on baskets that include this product.

Featured Collection

Shop our most popular products

A handy shortcut to the British favourites flying out the door.

View most popular
Shop our most popular products

Real customers, real British hauls

Loved by thousands of Canadians coast to coast.

What our customers say

4.9 from 452 Google Reviews
Friendly service and great selection. You’ll become addicted to the pies :) love the great British shop!
ken faloon Verified Buyer
Read all reviews ›

Great British Hauls

Across Canada, one box at a time 🇬🇧

St. Johns, NL
St. Johns, NLMay 2026
Oshawa, ON
Oshawa, ONMay 2026
Toronto, ON
Toronto, ONMay 2026
Charlottetown, PE
Charlottetown, PEMay 2026
Amherstburg, ON
Amherstburg, ONMay 2026
See more hauls ›

The story of Diddly Squat Farm Real Ale Chutney

By Aaron A.  |  October 13, 2026

Cheese, meet your new best friend

A cheese sandwich without chutney is just bread having a quiet day. You know it, and so does this jar. It comes from Jeremy Clarkson's farm near Chipping Norton, the one you have watched on the telly, and the official shop says its chutneys are homemade using produce from Diddly Squat Farm. So the man who named his farm after nothing has put something in a jar. Progress.

Read the full story

A farm named for nothing

Clarkson bought about a thousand acres near Chipping Norton in 2008, land that was formerly part of the Sarsden estate. A local villager contract-farmed it until his retirement in 2019, and then Clarkson took over himself. He renamed it Diddly Squat, slang for the least amount, or nothing, to indicate its lack of productivity. Honest, at least. Then the Amazon Prime Video series Clarkson's Farm came along, and suddenly a farm named after nothing was known around the world.

Forty tonnes of potatoes later

The shop exists because of an accident. Clarkson accidentally produced 40 tonnes of potatoes, which is a lot of chips for one household, so in 2020 he and Lisa Hogan opened the Diddly Squat Farm Shop. It is known for drawing very long visitor queues, and it faced a two-month closure after a council dispute over the roofing material on the building. Its products are made on the farm or by neighbouring businesses in the Cotswolds. In 2024 they reached the UK high street for the first time, via Amazon Fresh.

Where it earns its keep

Chutney is the bit of British food that does the heavy lifting and never takes a bow. It sits beside a ploughman's lunch, gets dolloped next to a pork pie, and turns the last scraps of the cheese board into a proper supper. You will open the jar for one sandwich. Ten minutes later you will be back at the fridge with a knife and a wedge of cheddar, telling nobody.

Restocks, new arrivals & offers

Get first dibs on restocks and proper British finds

New arrivals, giveaways, offers and the occasional very British email.

No spam, ever. Unsubscribe anytime.